The Goblin Queen
by Dyse
Summary: Set immediately after the movie... Jareth's being a sore loser and he's certainly not giving up on her yet. Time for round two. Everything will be put to the test especially Sarah's paitence with the royal brat.
1. Same morning, not the same feeling

A/n: Labyrinth… my not so secret love… this is set immediately after the movie.

Disclaimer: I own everything. This is all me.

**Chapter 1. Same morning, not the same feeling...**

The heat of the morning woke Sarah up. It was a particularly peaceful moment. She turned her head just slightly to the window next to her bed and listened to the birds cheerfully greeting morning before slowly opening her eyes.

…

_Goblin chatter woke Jareth from and uneasy rest-- if rest was the proper word for what he just had._

…

Smiling, Sarah tugged her off her blankets and stretched in the sunlight. Blinking away her tiredness she leisurely slid from her warm sheets. It was so bright out, and such a beautiful morning she quickly noted. A perfect day for lazing around with a baby, perhaps bring him out to play in the sun...

…

_How he detested mornings! Jareth was going to make every one of those goblins sleep outside if that's what it took to get some sleep himself._

…

It took no time at all for her to get ready. Her closet creaked in protest of being moved and she had to kick away various sweaters that fell on her toes when she opened it. Today she planned to do nothing more than dote on her baby brother. After last night she was considering doing nothing but that for a few months…perhaps a few years…

…

_Jareth wrapped a pillow around his ears cringing. Not today. There wasn't enough in him to get up today. With a flick of his wrist it became quiet. And of course it would, as it always did, when he sent two or three noisy Goblins to the bog. The rest then commenced his favorite reaction 'the silent panic'. He knew they would be in agony unsure of how to behave in order to avoid his wrath. And that was just fantastic with him, if he wasn't happy they couldn't be either—damnnit._

…

Having decided on a light skirt and a slip-shoulder black cotton blouse, she wasted no time getting ready. Sarah tied her hair up is a messy half bun and finished her morning toiletries with a confident flow of someone who had taken charge of her life.

…

_Someone else can have his life. A broken heart feels a bit like a hangover._

_Quadrupled._

…

After quietly entering Toby's room Sarah stared at the still sleeping infant. She could hardly believe ten hours ago she was fighting to have him back. It felt like a dream…

…

_Please let it be a dream! Please let it be a dream! She didn't win! She didn't beat his Labyrinth. She didn't rejec—_

_Reject—_

_Reject_

"_Me."_

_But she did. Otherwise he would've woken up to her sleeping face…just like a dream._

…

His hair was so light. Like the shade of creamy butter… Light hearted-ness forgotten she remembered who else had hair that color, maybe just a little bit lighter. Overwhelmed by some unexplainable feeling -was it regret? She thought maybe she didn't want to know the answer- but she had to look away from her half brother and regain herself.

It was over. She'd won. She said it over and over in her head and each time it didn't get any truer. The baby was asleep and unharmed. No huge maze, no goblins, no handsome Goblin Ki--, no goblins… nothing out of the ordinary.

But still….

" Toby. I don't know if you'll even remember what happened last night. I know I'll never forget and I'm so, so sorry…" She choked on the power of her words and softened her voice to a whisper. "I love you. I'll never let you go again. I swear it."

…

_He watched her speak those words to baby Jareth and felt a distinct tug at his throat. "Sarah," He spoke into the crystal "I too love you and…"_

_Will he? Should he give up? The danged girl called upon him and then booted him away again and he felt understandably outraged…but... "I don't think you know what you want girl. BUT- I know I'll never let you go again…"_

_No one chews him up and spits him out again, not even if she's as perfect a creature as his Sarah. He felt the depression curl up in him and whither out and die as if it never was. A new emotion came to him, a sort of excited determination._

"…_ever again. I swear it, Sarah."_

_And what's said is said… _

_Tomorrow he would wake up to her face._

_That is- if he ever managed to get that sleep. Having concluded their king was no longer sending them to the bog the goblins decided it was the perfect time to practice again with their pots and pans orchestra. _

**A/n: blah-shananna chapter one. Next up: Black mail by a little white mail**


	2. Blackmail with a little white mail

Disclaimer: I lied on the last one, I'm sorry.

Chapter 2: blackmail with a little white mail

It was around two o'clock where Sarah began getting those _'uh oh' _vibes. Those ones that can make a person want to check every door, every window…grab a baseball bat... Well, she didn't grab a baseball bat. She was in the kitchen so she held up a dinky plastic spatula like a weapon. _Shake it off girl, you're just getting those after-underground boogities, _Her mind chastised her.

I was really strange though… at first she was happily preparing herself some scrabbled eggs, which were beginning to burn she could smell, and then she had a scary sensation of intrusion. As if someone was-

Around…

"Hello?"

No answer sounded predictably in her empty house, Karen and the baby were out shopping and her dad was at work, so it made sense that no one should answer.

But…

Sarah sighed. Perhaps she was just jumpy, and it totally made sense. Yesterday she went to a different dimension and found out fairy tales were true. Seriously, that is not of the norm. Jitters were acceptable.

She may even be like this for days. Last night she had dreamt she was back in an oubliette. It was scary at first, but when she woke up- her eggs **were** burning.

"Crap!"

She grabbed for the pan, pulling it off the stove a little too quickly because the eggs slid onto her hand causing her to drop it.

"Ahh! Double crap!"

Her voice chorused the same time the pan hit the floor. Sighing again, a little more exaggerated this time, she chucked her weapon on the counter and kicked egg bits off her foot.

She guessed she'd be surprising Karen with a freshly moped floor…oh boy…

The mop was in a small closet next to the basement stairs which were located on the other side of the kitchen. Without looking in, and just feeling around for it Sarah yanked on the mop causing several miscellaneous cleaning supplies to clamor against her shins.

When she made it back to the kitchen counter Merlin was already gobbling up her spilt lunch.

"Well, I'm glad somebody likes my cooking, ehn puppy?"

He made a happy little woof.

"Truth is, a few minutes ago I was feeling a little creeped out so I'm glad you found your way inside…" He had something on his back. "…hey boy what'cha got on ya? Is that…is that a little saddl--?"

WAIT.

"Oh no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no….."

'_He's my loyal steed…'_

"Hello Ambrosious..."

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So that was a 'somebody's here' vibe!

"Sir Didymous!! Sir Didymous are you here??" She searched all around her house. Ambrosious followed her halfway through her search, and then apparently gave up and fell asleep curled on the couch.

"Sir Didymous! Answer me! Are you here?!"

This was a problem. It wasn't that she didn't love her friends, but she wondered if anything else from the labyrinth could wander to and fro each world. Imagine what the goblins would do…the junk people… the fierys… '_Eh? 'er 'ead don' come off!' _

Good lord. Not the fierys!

"Sir Didymous! You've got to be here!! Hello?"

When she swung open her bedroom door her entire room was filled with a sort of mist. Covering her nose she cautiously entered. Nothing seemed moved, no everything was in order…except… a small envelope taped on to her mirror.

It was foggy, but she could clearly make out the small word seemingly rushed when it was written on top of it.

'HELP'

Grabbing the envelope quickly and dashing out of her room, she closed the door with a slam and watched as some of the fog was seeping out underneath and on the sides of it.

Wasting no more time, Sarah ripped open the envelope revealing a small white card that also had one word on it with the same rushed handwriting.

'BALCONY'

She knew what it meant. Her parent's balcony was the place she entered the labyrinth from the first time. It meant it wanted her to go back there, to do it again…

"Oh no. No. No… No…" Each no gave off a more and more doomed sound.

In the back of her mind she knew this had to be a trap. If they were so rushed that they couldn't even write neatly, why did they bother placing in an envelope? Or taping it to her mirror? Wasn't yelling faster than writing also? Why didn't they scream for her? She was already assuming that this was sent by her friends- in particular Sir Didymous- but, everything about it was so strange… and also, she really, really (safe to add a couple more 'reallys' in there) didn't want to go back.

She had to think about this. She decided to count the pros and cons.

"Okay, they're my friends. I need to save them. (One.)

But I don't actually know if this was sent by my friends! (Two.)

Okay. But who else would? (Three.)

I'd rather chew my own foot than go back in there. (Four.)

They saved me. (Five.)

This has to be a trap. (Six.)

It might not be…they might really be in trouble. (Seven.)

I don't have a choice. (Eight. And Final.)"

Thinking briefly that she should grab supplies- she ran, faster then one would assume, downstairs to grab a flashlight, bottled water, some granola bars and a couple apples, a switch blade, a box of band-aids (bandages would be better, but she had no idea if she had any), a lighter and some multi-colored rubber bands (hey- Hoggle loved her cheapo plastic bracelet, perhaps she could use them as a type of currency…) and shoved them all in a small backpack she had used as a purse for a while. She then grabbed a denim jacket and slowly made her way back upstairs.

"Ambrosious… here, boy.. wrrtwrrrtwrrt" She whistled as she cautiously took each step up.

She probably should change out of her skirt as well, she realized, but as she came up the stairs she saw that the mist escaping her room was beginning to liquefy and become some sort of nasty grey ooze.

"Lovely…" She whispered. Ambrosious brushed again her leg. She hadn't even heard him follow her.

"Good boy."

They stopped right at her parent's and Toby's room.

"Well boy… this is it. This is what separates the boys from men. Err… girls from women, and puppies from…yeah. Let's go."

Clutching the door handle, she didn't even get to walk in before everything swirled around her and went black.

………………………..

a/n ohh two chapters in one day… nifty ja?  I love you people. Your comments are so sweet.

Next Chapter: Wanna go underground?


	3. Wanna go underground?

Disclaimer: I'm gonna say Jim Henson is the owner of this. THIS time, maybe not later…

…………

**Chapter 3: Wanna go underground?**

Why'd her pillow taste like sand? Actually it felt like sand too…

Waaait…

What happened? Where was she?

Sarah opened her eyes to the orangey sky which, turning over, overlooked the whole Labyrinth. She was right where she started yesterday. The hill before the gates- where the Goblin King had showed her a clock informing her she had thirteen hours to get to the center. In fact, that dumb clock was still in that tree, just hanging there, all post-modern_-y_.

"Augh…I'm here.."

And she was. The place she thought she had left behind forever. Dispassionately she shuffled up and looked around. She must've passed out coming here. Odd, because she had switched dimensions before with no issue. Perhaps that was because _he_ was with her, using his magic like a V.I.P card for her. And now it was a rough ride because she was trespassing. Fun.

"Wait, Ambrosious?" Her furry partner was nowhere to be seen. Her only companion was the wind that just now howled like a scorned lover.

She tugged her jacket tighter and attempted to swat off the sand sticking to the bare parts of her legs.

"Well, at least I know where to start this time. Come on fee--- I mean, here I go…"

_Again…_

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An hour has passed (her fancy designer watch informed her) and she was still staring at a wall twenty feet away from where she first woke up.

Ah ha. She now recalled Hoggle letting her in the first time. Alas, this time there be no Hoggle. Crap.

She didn't know how to get in.

There was fairy invested thorn bushes, otherwise she would've tried climbing up. Actually, the wall was fairly smooth so she didn't know if she'd be able to do that even if she could get close.

Dang. Crap…crap again… crap again again.

She really had a dosie here.

Maybe she should make a wish…

_Goblin king, goblin king_

_Wherever you might be, _

_Get your butt down here _

_And open this door for me!_

On second thought, It'd be wise for him not to know she was here, if he didn't already of course… it's likely him who her friends need her help from.

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Jareth had it figured out. If he angles his foot just slightly before he lands a kick- goblins get the highest aero velocity.

And just now he thought he may have broken his last record.

He had finally gotten himself out of bed (not an easy task today, that's for sure. It was well into the evening) and he just wasn't up to the nasty, drunken rodents he called his subjects. Not that he ever was, but today in particular he would even admit to being rather short tempered.

Rather, today he intended to focus all his energy on his most beauteous contender and how to trick her back into his Labyrinth…or more preferably into his arms.

He paused a moment. That was extremely sappy.

He mustn't forget that he was extremely infuriated at that…that… presumptuous, pretentious... Earth angel of glory and light.

NO! No more pet names.

He was angry. Very angry.

Now if he could just remember that.

She was extremely bad for him- made him all _mushy_.

"Your highness! Your highness!" A small Goblin in armor far too thick for him came clanking up faster than expected. Slow and disinterestedly Jareth flopped onto his throne making hard stone appear comfortable in his own strange way.

"What is it?"

"The girl…"

"What?"

"The girl who ate the peach and forgot everything!!"

Jareth closed his eyes. Did he have this conversation once?

"What of her?"

"Is just we forgot to tell you-!"

"Forgot to tell me what?"

"Umm…"

"Yes?"

"Uh… I forget. Buh, it was really good! You **want** to know this… ah'm pretty sure." The small goblin leaned down and started tapping his foot, his eyebrows furrowed in frusteration. "I just 'ad it uh minute ago…kinda important…"

"Yes…?"

"Uhm…."

"Mmhmm?"

"The girl…"

"Good lord, are we back there again?" Jareth sunk back deeper in his throne. He really ought to make plans for another place of banishment. The bog of stench wasn't big enough for his headache.

"The girl's… uh…she's…um…what was it? Ah just 'ad it!"

"Pity. Now what shall I do to make sure you never forget anything aga-"

"HERE! That's what it was! The girl's 'ere!!"

"WHAT?!!" Jareth leap out of his seat and grabbed the goblin by the hair to his face level.

"See? Ah thought you'd like to know that. Heh heh…ow."

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"YES! Yes! Yes! Yes!"

Sarah had opted to walk around the danged place in hopes of another opening- a crack maybe.

She was richly rewarded by what looked like to be a missing brick. These bricks were rather large, probably two feet by three feet and just big for her to pull herself through.

The opening happened to reach about her forehead so she would have to pull herself up to climb through it. Sadly, it was times like these that she regretted skipping gym.

"Okay, girl. Muscles."

She slipped her backpack off her shoulders and placed it into the hole to avoid complications later.

Standing on tippy-toes and stretching her arms as far as possible into the space, she felt around for a ledge to grab onto. She found one, her fingertips seemed to be barely at it. If she had something to stand on…

Wait. There, she could reach it. And now to pull herself up- she jumped and got a strong hold on the edges.

The edge on her side bit painfully into her chest and it scrapped her pretty hard as she dragged her upper body into the hole.

The hard part being over, Sarah bit her bag to carry it in her mouth and turned slightly to her side to fandangle her legs in. It was certainly a trick, she was a slender girl, but she was rather tall.

Somehow she managed and her feet came out first as she slid exhaustedly out.

Something told her she should've looked at what she was dropping into first.

With a muffled yelp she went crashing down into a pool of water.

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Crap again again again! XD

a/n: Yeah, I'll be using lots of stuff from the actually movie. Hardcore fans will probably get a hoot out of being able to pick them out. Love ya guys!!

Next Chapter: Worst name for a bird…ever.

btw: hurtlost- thanks!! I'm glad you like it :)


	4. What's said is said

Disclaimer: Oh, um… it's yours. There's one in 6 billion chance I'm right.

**Chapter 4: What's said is said…**

Water was everywhere. Sarah had gulped desperately for air, but ended up choking instead. It was horrible, her arms felt useless because she already exhausted her muscles lifting herself into that hole and her legs seemed not to help at all. They just thrashed around wildly as if cutting through the water and not helping her go up.

It was a scary moment, as she watched the surface drift higher and higher away from her and she realized she was going to die.

And it truly seemed that way…

That is,

Until her toes hit something hard.

The bottom!

With what little air she had left she braced herself against the bottom and leapt upwards.

Her body slipped through the depths and her brain was pulsating as a countdown until she was going to run out of air.

It was the hardest swim she had to do as she saw the light from underneath the blurry waves.

But she was doing it, and a second after her lungs gave up sunlight kissed her face.

"Waahack..akk..!"

Air! Oh-glorious air! Oh she wanted it! She gulped it up like the finest, most delicious, most wondrous…something…that she really needed.

As oxygen began to return to her brain she registered what had happened and looked up at the space in the wall she had slipped out of. It was at least twenty feet up and dust was innocently floating out of it in mockery of her troubles.

Suddenly very tired Sarah turned around and swam quietly to the nearby bank. It got rapidly shallow and she was able to trudge at least half the wa-

"Aww, crap. My bag…"

Yes, it was lost. She faintly recalled yelling out as she fell, and since she was carrying it in her teeth, that proved to be a problem.

She felt her face morph into a grimace. Turning around, she gazed over the water which still rippled from her disturbance. She really didn't want to go back in. She needed a second to sit down first.

Yes, she would do that. Sit down. Get rested and go back for the bag.

Yes, sit down. Rest up. Yes. She would do that.

Yes, just for a moment and _then_ go back in.

She turned back around and her bag was floating five inches from her face.

"Whack! Holy…"

Only, it wasn't floating. It was attached to an arm. An arm with burgundy leather gloves and a gaudy, sliver, stone encrusted bracelet that wrapped around his whole forearm.

Attached to the arm was an equally outlandish form pulling a Jesus-eske stunt of standing confidently on the surface, with flauntingly dry, knee high boots.

_Oh lord…_

"Having problems?"

His tone was welcoming and concerned, but the victorious smirk on his face was about enough to make her want to give him a good dunk headfirst.

"Hello Jareth."

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She was grateful he saved her bag for her, but that didn't save the fact she was reallllly hoping to avoid him this trip. Besides, now wasn't a good time. The material of her skirt seemed…to…to… _subtract _when it was wet. She kept tugging at it hoping he wouldn't notice.

"So Sarah… To what do I owe this little visit? Things were perhaps…left unfinished…yesterday?"

He was swaying around her as she was attempting to make a fire. She wasn't exactly prepared to have this chat with him yet. He was right, things were left unfinished… it's just…

"No, I'm not here for that. I'm here of course to….' Something occurred to her. 'Wait, you don't know why I'm here?"

His eyes seemed to lose their humor.

"No, obviously, I wouldn't have asked otherwise."

"So you had nothing to do with the trouble my friends are in?"

His eyes seemed to absorb every word.

"Your friends?!" He growled and indignantly spun around. Mr. Mood swings…

"What do you care about that hodgepodge of imbeciles and miscreants anyway?"

"Hodgepodge?"

"Answer me, Sarah. Are they really why you're here?!"

This really seemed to bother him. Sarah decided on her words carefully. Setting her task aside for the moment, she walked over to face him while he had turned around from her.

"They sent me a message asking for help. It didn't say much, but it was obvious they wanted me to come here again. They had opened the portal where you had let me in."

"Sarah, it's always open for you."

"No, wait,_ really?_ No, it hurt. It sucked me in like a vacuum and oh, have you seen a dog with a saddle around?"

He raised a sophisticated eyebrow to that.

"Err… nevermind. Anyway, yes, I'm here to help them however I can. I just have had a sort of rough start, but if it's not anything you've done…well, that's helpful to know. Except now I don't know anything."

"Your friends didn't leave you any sort of clue? Nothing in that message?"

"No, it was only two words and there was this sort of mist that prevented me from looking around."

"A _miiist_ you say?_" _He did a little side step and pulled her closer to him interest obviously now piqued.

"Yeah, it was really thick and turned into some kind of grey goo…"

As she said this his face broke out into that same victorious grin, just more hostel this time. He reminded her of a predator who's finally cornered his prey.

He then began laughing.

"It was something I've done, Sarah. Not to bring you here, I was going to do that later, but to catch those traitorous _friends_ of yours…"

He said the word 'friends' like it left a foul taste in his mouth.

"And nooow… I know where they are."

"WHAT?!"

"The sniveling cowards ran from me. Hid. I didn't know how they could've possibly escaped my crystals, but now I do. I just over-estimated their intelligence a bit."

"What do you mean?"

"That mist is legendary of the Hob Forest.' He tilted his head and looked at her sideways. 'one of the most lethal places in my kingdom. The one place I can't get a clear picture from my crystals because it is so foggy. I would've thought of it before, except I didn't believe them to be quite _that_ foolish. Ha ha!"

"Leave them alone Jareth. The fight you want is with me."

He slowly straightened and flowed in closer to her. She could feel his breath on her lips.

"Do you think that is what I want Sarah? A fight?"

"No, I think I know what you want."

"Do you?"

"Yeah I do, you've said it before."

"But, I never said anything…"

"No, not _said_, it was a song so you _sang_ it."

He smirked in response. "Clever girl, so what was it that I wanted?"

She matched his smirk. She wasn't sure this was actually the direction the conversation should be going, but she needed to keep his mind off her friends, especially now they were in deeper trouble because of her.

"Well...Me."

His grin widened- she knew she made the correct answer.

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Chapter 5: Worst name for a bird...ever… ( I know I said that would be chapter four. I'm sorry I lied. )

Thanks everybody!


	5. Worst name for a bird ever

Disclaimer: I don't disclaim to do a proper disclaimer

a/n love ya folks!! Sorry this took me so long to get out, I'm going into finals week at school so it's been busy and schtuff.

**Chapter 5: worst name for a bird…ever…**

"Go on…"

Sarah expected a series of reactions from him, even that he would try to deny it, but he just stood there making a motion with his hand to show he was obviously expecting more. He was searching her face impatiently with a sharp eyebrow raised. "Well??"

"Well what?"

"Go on."

What the hell was he talking about? "Go on what?!"

"Continue with your proposition for me."

Now it was Sarah's turn to raise an eyebrow.

"I have a proposition?"

His quizzical face turned suddenly sour. It made his beautiful un-matching eyes seem to glow slightly. It made her wonder if possibly he had heat vision among his talents. Actually, that was a rather silly thought. If he did she imagined she'd be rather toasty right now.

"Are you mocking me, Sarah? That isn't wise-I'll have you know. I'm not feeling particularly generous this morning..."

And with a sneer he added quietly "…_like_ _yesterday_."

The wet denim of her jacket was thick and unresponsive and felt like she was wearing cardboard. Briefly she wondered what the water had done to her hair, but it was probably better to focus on the pissy magic user in front of her instead.

"I'm mock free Jareth. I swear I just have no idea what you're talking about."

"No idea?" He inquired pleasantly.

"Nope."

"Oh well then…"And then the pleasant went up in volume. "…You mean to tell me that you came here…_trespassing_ even…to _my_ world after you just used me up and spit me back out yesterday after I had given you _NOTHING BUT WHAT YOU WANTED-"_

"Hey wait a minute!" But he was going on.

"-and offered so much more to you, which you also batted away, without a _single_ plan to save your lovely behind?!"

"Eh?!"

"What did you think was going to happen? Did you think I would say 'let us let begones be begones for _free_?"

What? For free? Meaning he would for a _price_?

Oh Lord, he couldn't be serious…

"Ah…well…oh Lord…actually, I wasn't using much thinking… this trip was going to be a purely in-and-out deal… You see, I just wanted to help my friends!"

The goblin king leaned back a smiled a mean little smile.

"What a pity… and now you've only caused them more grief. Oh dear, can you be even called a friend anymore?"

"No… Jareth leave them alone…"

"Why?"

"Because! It was-"

"Come on, now Sarah! Why should I? Hmmm? Hmm?" He came back and faced her closely. "What do you propose?"

His smile was happy again.

He was bullying her she realized, because he was right. He was the one with the power here. Both her and her friends were at his mercy.

But still…

Looking at him squarely for a second she inhaled

Before she

'_proposed'…_

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She woke up in a daze. In her foggy mind she realized she was somewhere near the middle of the Labyrinth. Not too far from here was where she had first met Ludo...

But why was she here?

Oh riiight… now it came back to her.

Maybe she had went too far with Jareth…

In fact, now that she thought about it, what she told him to do was anatomically impossible and very, very rude to the sensitive goblin king.

Obviously he didn't find it as amusing as she did.

Still, she had meant it. She had never been the type to take abuse, and that attitude had doubled since yesterday.

"I made a funny…heh heh."

She knew she was going to treasure that memory.

Ow. The stone tiles were even more uncomfortable to sleep on than the sand.

Her entire body felt stiff and sore and her clothes seemed dirty because they had been wet and she had been laying on the filthy ground…it caused crusty issues.

But at least she knew where to go.

"Hob forest. The most dangerous place in the Labyrinth, where my friends decided to go…

…hiding from Jareth who can get there 99 faster than me... and undoubtedly will."

Getting up and swinging her bag onto her shoulder she started. "Okie dokie. Let's rock."

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About a half a mile in a direction she hoped was the right one, she honestly had no idea where to find this forest, she heard voices. They were coming from about ten feet away. She couldn't see them because of the high bushes, but she heard:

"_Will you Pleeease be quiet!"_

What? That sounded familiar to Sarah. It took her a second but once she heard the squawky voice that argued with it she knew they belonged to none other than the old man and his bird hat.

Exhilaration filled her and she bounded through the hedges onto where they were still arguing. Clearly she startled them because they both screamed when she crashed out into their clearing.

"Hi!" She gasped excitedly. She was as happy to see them as if they had been her friends. She didn't even know if she was lost and that was almost worst than actually being lost, but she was certain these two would help her.

"You again! We just saw ya dinnit we??" The bird-hat squeaked.

"Young woman…" The old man added slowly.

"Hello, both of you. I need help real bad. Can you tell me where to find-"

"Nope! Can't help you, no, no, not at all." Bird-hat interrupted.

"Heelp yoou young womaan…" The old man began. Again, slowly.

"What do you mean you can't help me? You don't even know what I'm going to ask!"

The bird began a hysterical nervous laugh. "Don't matter. Can't help you. King demands it. We heard what happened to some of those who help you yesterday. Curses we did too, but I take it back! We don't help you no more! So you just git!"

"What?! Are you serious?!"

"Waant to heelp yoou young womaan…" The old man offered.

"Damn right. Not gonna do it. Now beat it! The king's not gonna look at us nosiree… we ain't done nothin'!"

"You dirty little coward. I'm trying to save my friends right now!"

She approached them shaking her head furiously. "I need to know which way is Hob forest. That's it."

"Too bad! Ha ha! Actually, even if I could I wouldn't tell you how to get _there_… that's the worst place…"

"Doesn't matter. My friends need me. And right now I really need your help. Time is kind of an issue. Let's just say, I want to get there before they receive some royal company."

"Oh waa waa waa! They broke the rules. According to me they had it a comin'! His highness ain't never had a girlfriend before. They was stupid to interfere.."

"Pecker!" The old man spoke up. The tone in his voice made even Sarah's retort die on her tongue. "Be quiiet!"

The bird 'hmph-ed' but promptly shut up.

Some horrid thought flicked through her mind, but she ignored it for now. The old man turned and looked wisely at Sarah.

"Waant to heelp you young womaan, but cannot the way yoou hoped."

"Because of what Jareth said? Please, I doubt he'll even know."

"I saaaid not the way you hoped. I can help."

Sarah sat down slowly and listened. She knew this was important (and probably going to take a while) and she couldn't be distracted on what the bird-hat's horrible name was in British slang.

Seriously…

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a/n

Oooh three guesses on what the old man is going to suggest? Sarah's not going to like it that's for sure.

Ha ha

Love ya folks!

Next chapter: You suck, you suck, and you suck too.


	6. You suck, you suck and you suck too

**Disclaimer: **I wrote this.

**Chapter 6: You suck, you suck and you suck too.**

_Ugh…that girrrl…_ she was going to be the death of him. It didn't matter if he was immortal, that girl was going to kill him.

Jareth placed a cool gloved hand on his pounding forehead. He's lived for a few hundred years now and no one has ever spoken to him that way.( With a non-fatal outcome of course.)

Gawd he loved her…

But he was _so_ mad.

And yet…

extremely turned on.

A wicked grin broke out of his face, his eyes hiding under thick lashes…

He didn't like when things came too easy. The best things in life are fought for and this girl was going to be the most exquisite prize no doubt…

Although it was her innocence that attracted him to her in the first place, he was rather relieved that the girl wasn't a faint-hearted, little flower that would whither at the first sign of perversion. He could never handle that. Not with a mind like his anyway… He needed a woman with spice, fire… but at the same time to carry herself like a queen. Sarah was proving to be that. An angel on the out, devil on the in.

Utterly delectable.

but there was one more thing that bothered him and he needed to know before he went to see her again-

"Hey you! Tall goblin! What's a '_doosh _bag_'_?"

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Sarah felt like maybe she should apologize to the old man for throwing his...ah...schlong bird, but what they were saying was making her so mad and wasting her precious, precious time.

They told her she should _maaarry _Jareth. Yes, marry. Unbelievable.

And No. Never going to happen.

For goodness sake! She was only fifteen! He must be going on thirty by now! That is, if he aged like a normal human. She never thought to ask, there's always been something more important going on, but some things made her wonder if he wasn't much, much older than he looked.

If that was the case, it would explain why he isn't bothered by her young age. It must be at some point it's no longer a big deal.

But marriage?! Holy crap, no! Why would her ever want to marry her anyway?

"_He's been in love with you for a looong time child, longer than you know. He's alooone and wishing to alter that with yooou."_

The old man had told her.

"_In love with me? Perhaps he kinda likes me, but you make it sound like he wants me to be his girlfriend or something."_

"_No."_

"_No?"_

"_His wife."_

It had been all too creepy. He had then went on about how she should simply surrender to him and use herself like currency for her friends. So she threw his hat. Here's to maturity! Screw that! She had loved how that bird squealed as he flew through the air…

But really she did that because what he said to her made waaay too much sense and for a moment she was a bit overwhelmed.

If his affection was indeedy true and he wasn't just being all predatory and domineering then perhaps she could put herself away as plan 'B'. But no marriage! Definitely no marriage.

Again, for goodness sake, she had met this guy yesterday!

But wait, did he say Jareth had known her for much longer?

How long?

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She now remembered why she had been so thrilled to see the wise man. She had hoped he could give her a direction to follow. Alas that did not happen so she was back to her original problem.

Where the hemma gemma are her friends?

Where is hob forest?

Is Jareth going to get to them first?

Well, of course he would. He can go poof and be anywhere he wants really.

So the tired heroine paused at this thought. She could feel the sun beginning to burn her bare calves. Unable to do anything else she just had begun walking down a, yes, _snick snick,_ yellow brick road. Albeit it was more beige if anything, not yellow…and now it had led her into a desolate, almost desert-y looking area where she had the rising suspicion was not the correct location for a forest.

It was pointless. Jareth was playing with her. Or maybe he even wasn't. Maybe he just had so much power over this place he's not even sweating her presence.

He had already said didn't he?

"…_You mean to tell me that you came here…trespassing even…to my world…without a single plan to save your lovely behind?!"_

Her being here is ludicrous. He can do whatever he wants.

There's nothing she can do to against him and if she does somehow manage to find her friends first (which is very much so looking impossible) what's she gonna do once she has them?

Yell out a big 'finder's keepers!!!' Write out a big 'don't touch!' sign and have them carry it around?

There's no possible way to protect them.

They were his subjects in his world where he makes the rules…and she… this wasn't her world, not her rules and therefore… there was nothing she could do.

Well, not _nothing_ as the wise man had kindly informed her.

But she wasn't nearly willing to give up on everything yet. If she could somehow manage to get her friends to her world the rules would change.

But how would they like it there???!! That was a horrible idea, and Sarah wrote it off as quickly as she had thought it. Her world couldn't handle them. Her world could barely handle _her._

Something even uglier sank in to her only happy thoughts.

Her world.

Oh Lord. Her world.

Her world. Her world. Her world. Her world. Her world. Her world. HER WORLD. HER WORLD.

HOW WAS SHE GOING TO GET BACK TO HER WORLD?????

"Oh shit."

Impulsiveness had it's price. She had no idea how to get back. There was nothing behind her when had first arrived and there wouldn't be anything there now.

She had no way home.

She couldn't help her friends.

And she couldn't help herself.

It was like she could hear Jareth laughing in her mind.

Under the cruel sun Sarah collapsed.

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a/n: sorry sorry sorry folks for making you wait so long. I don't have an excuse, I was just being really lazy. Sorry about that!

Next chapter: Here comes the bride…all dressed in pride…


	7. Here's the bride, all dressed in pride

**Disclaimer: The labyrinth belongs to the Goblin king, foo'z. That's right. Don't argue.**

**Chapter 7: Here comes the bride… all dressed in pride…**

Okay. How many times exactly was she going to faint?!

_Frickin' A._

Sarah had dirt under her face this time. The first time she fainted it was sand, and then it had been something like limestone tiles. (She'd never complain about a lumpy bed again.)

Her whole body ached. It had been abused today from lifting _and_ falling _and_ fainting _and_ arguing with a sensitive goblin king **_and _**that was all during the time she was awake. Seems like she'd been passed out for most of this trip.

_Damnnit!_ Since when was she a flippin' damsel?

Oh wait…

She had been a damsel everyday of her life before yesterday.

Still.

Fainting was _sooo_ corsets and petticoats. Not that she knew what a petticoat was… that's another one of those English misnomers like sweetbreads.

Ugh.

She was still angry at Karen for Monday's dinner.

Bread was bread and guts were friggin' guts, where was the confusion there?

And-

and…_eh_.

Where her thoughts going at this moment?

Why couldn't she ever focus on the matter at hand, like **maybe** where she _was_??

It was extremely dark. Even the dirt of which she pushed herself up on was as black as charcoal.

She stared down at her hands. Or tried to…

She wasn't even sure she could count her fingers.

Blood began to pump in her forehead. Slowly she reached behind to her bag and slid it down her arm. She first felt a bottle which she immediately took a giant swig of because she felt like she was chewing on her own tongue her mouth was so dry.

She was breathing really hard. Vaguely she wondered why, it's not like she had been running or anything…but then she wondered why it was also the only thing she could hear. Why was everything so quiet?

Her fingers began shaking as they found their goal.

She flicked her flashlight on.

At least she knew wasn't lost anymore.

Although, gazing into the thin stream of detail her light was giving her, Sarah began to wonder if that was a plus.

She was definitely in a forest.

A very foggy one.

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Her flashlight wasn't enough. It was too dark and whatever she did pick up was thickly covered in fog.

Hadn't both Jareth and Pecker warned her about this place? Jareth had described it as the most lethal place in his Labyrinth.

Apparently it was, maybe it was so quiet because everything was dead.

Hob Forest seemed to have even killed the wind.

"Hoggle?" She called out. It felt like her voice sank into the darkness. Like something around her absorbed it.

"Sir Didymous...Ludo?"

Those sank in too.

This wasn't good. She couldn't see anything.

She was scared to go anywhere. She guessed it had been about forty minutes and she had maybe moved forward ten feet. It was just too scary.

She was shocked at her own bravery, but she was willing to wage it wouldn't last.

Well, glass being half full maybe she'd faint again.

"Hoggle?"

_(('crack!'))_

_What was that?????_ Her useless light flied over in the sound's general origin. Not that anything appeared, all she could see was grey.

But she had definitely heard a crack.

"Hello? I know you're there…no use hiding!"

'_Please don't eat me'_ she added silently in her mind.

Nothing came out.

She waited for another fourteen minutes and then she heard another crack. This time behind her.

She spun around.

"WHOSE THERE?!"

Nothing.

This wasn't good.

She was visibly shaking now and Sarah was biting her lip to keep from crying.

She began to taste blood. Perhaps it was better to cry.

"Aww gawd…" she cried weakly "…leave me alone.."

"Orders, orders, orders darling… you are truly a selfish girl."

_Huh?!_

A light flashed and suddenly the whole surrounding area was covered in a perfect line of fire completely controlled by magic.

He looked terrifying. His eyes looked hotter than the flames and shadows seemed to crawl like snakes over his commanding form. "Really, you challenge me and then ask me to leave you alone? Tsk tsk tsk, not going to happen…"

"Jareth…" Sarah breathed. It upset her, but she was relieved. The fire made it possible to make out the trees and vines. They were black she realized, it wasn't just because it was dark.

He turned from her and mumbled something. He was ordering a small black creature to do something she realized. Was everything here black?

The spiny creature crawled away like a crab until it burrowed itself in the dark soil. Ick.

"Sarah. If you could have anything, what would you wish for?"

"What?"

"Your dreams, Sarah, what are they?"

"Jareth…" She wasn't sure what to say. He hadn't turned back around to her so she was conversing with his back. "Did you bring me here?"

"Answer _my_ question first, Sarah-selfish girl."

"Uh…?" She really didn't know what to say. But she did know that he was getting at something that was going to be very important and it was happening now. "…I thought you knew my dreams, Jareth…"

He glanced back at her with a tiny smile.

"I did know, Sarah. They were similar to my own…"

"Ah."

"You're so beautiful, you know. You could make Venus cry…"

"Huh. Not exactly on my list of things to do…"

"Sarah." He struck in quick and smoothly to stare in her face.

"What do you wish for?"

She couldn't answer. Her head began to slowly shake unconsciously. His eyes were so intense, she could almost feel them. Maybe he could touch her eyes with his… whatever it was it was making her heart pound.

He was beautiful… and she knew, angry right now. At her, about her…

She had to look away and what she saw were her friends.

"Wha…wha…guys!"

They were all awkwardly gathered behind Jareth. The spiny black thing had obviously herded them there. Probably what Jareth had ordered it to do.

Hoggle and Ludo were both gagging and lumbering where they stood. They both had what looked like make shift nose plugs shoved painfully into their face.

Sir Didymous stood farther away grinning and waving cutely at her. "Milady! You're here!" His little tail wagged excitedly.

"Sir Didymous!" Sarah rushed past Jareth eager to embrace him. "Oh my gosh, guys I'm so happy to see you…_Oh my gawd what is that **smell**?!"_

Sarah fell down and she, Hoggle and Ludo did the same little lumbering dance.

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"YOU TOOK A BATH???!!!"

"Yeees! E'did! E'did!" Hoggle hollered aguishly.

"Smell baaad!" Ludo wailed.

"In the Bog. Of. STENCH. You took a _bath_?

Sir Didymous did a happy little shrug, completely oblivious to the agony of his friends.

"But of course, Milady, after our conquest I was covered in victorious perspiration!"

"Sweat?!"

"Indeed!"

Jareth was standing back, mostly watching her reactions. "Amazing…" He whispered next to her ear… "In nearly a thousand years I have never seen any of my subjects enter the bog willingly…"

He whispered willingly sensually, his tongue moving to every syllable.

She pretended not to be affected.

_Wait._

"Did you just say a thousand?" Jareth raised his eyebrows and smiled.

"Sarah, ya must have sumethin in your world for smells right? There ain't nothing besides 'is highness that can fix it 'ere." Hoggle began. It was a bit hard to understand because his nose was so plugged.

There were so many questions spinning in her head at the moment she wasn't sure which one to focus on.

"I'm not sure, I mean, this place is magic after all…"

"You ain't got magic in yours world?!"

"No, we don't." Sarah replied sadly. She then glared at Jareth for smirking at her. She knew what it was for.

"Ah man, den we dinnit need to contact you at all…"

"Hoggle."

"Yeah, Sarah?"

"I'm elated to know you're okay and that the message was from you, but don't you dare tell me that this is why you asked me to come here…"

"Eh…"

"_Hog-gle_."

"Gee Sarah, ya want me to lie to you?"

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**A/n ehn the title of this chapter was misleading eh? Sorry. Matrimony will happen in the next chapter because Jareth is a… Chapter 8: Impatient King**


	8. Impatient king

**Disclaimer: Hmmm…. I'm running out of jackash things to say.**

**Chapter 8: Impatient King**

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They stared at each other for a while. Two hot heads and only one table.

After the initial shock and the true reason Sarah returned to the Labyrinth revealed, Jareth got quickly annoyed at her focus not being on himself.

"Where are they?"

"Fine."

"Not what I asked." Sarah sat with a fear that was only clouded by the outrage she felt at being whisked away once again by him and separated from her friends.

They sat in a cold heat. Sarah didn't recognize the room that they were in. It looked like a small study. She could hear the chatter and ruckus of his goblins from the other side of the castle.

He looked good. Infuriatingly good, while she most likely _didn't_.

For some reason he liked to change his clothing for every new situation while she most likely looked like a dirty, smudge faced rat. Right now he sat splendidly across from her in a rouge velvet jacket that buttoned on the side and dark grey pants with an even darker grey pair of boots.

It was hard to believe that her shirt had once been white. And her jacket couldn't be referred to as 'blue' jean anymore. Damned black dirt.

"What is this, Jareth? What are we doing?"

"Sitting, talking, longing… all of the above perhaps."

"Shut up. What are we doing? Where are my friends?" His nostrils flared at being told to shut up, but then she watched as he seemed to consider how to respond.

His fingers toiled a long strand of white hair, an almost female trait that she had never seen a man do, but looked almost natural coming from him.

Slowly he answered her.

"You know…." Then he stopped and seemed to consider her again.

"Know what, Jareth? Spit it out." Sarah urged impatiently.

He nodded and stuck out his bottom lip in a thoughtful manner. "You know Agnes? My subject living in the trash heap just outside the city? I believe you met her yesterday…" He added impassively.

_The hell?_ "Umm? So?"

"Well, I don't think she'd be so keen on you competing for her title as the junk lady. Would you like to take a bath?"

"What the hell?! Jareth!"

"So you don't want to then? You like looking like this?" He looked at her sideways. "_Smelling_ like this?"

"_I don't smell_!"

"Like roses. Lets get you into a bath. MAID!" He hollered.

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Apparently none of his goblins had a name. Or if they did, Jareth didn't care or remember. It was rather amusing watching him issue orders.

"_**You** get the bath ready. **You** find her fresh smelling soaps. **You** find her clean towels and I mean clean or you'll be cleaned by the cleaners YOU UNDERSTAND ME? No, not **you**! **You**! Get to work! The rest of you get out of my way."_

Then he would proceed to kick whichever one was closest to his boot for emphasis. And man, did they make air.

Sarah caved into his suggestion for one reason: To think over her future argument with Jareth (basically the best way to dupe him) and to feel more human and less like a compost pile.

Which, incidentally is two reasons, but that's not really the issue.

The bath was cruddy and rude, but very large. It was cut out of the floor and looked big enough to do at least a few tiny laps around it.

She knew this, because she tried.

It took her 60 seconds to make one and a half laps.

Sarah grinned for a moment considering what it would be like if she had one like it at home.

She would _totally_ throw bath-parties.

Well, no she wouldn't.

That's a little lesbian. But she _could_…

The goblins left her all kinds of fancy soaps too, all pretty in antique looking bottles. She plucked a green one and pulled out the dark wooden plug with a pop.

It smelled rich, like old ladies perfume.

Casting it aside and picking another in a red bottle which smelled like wine of all things she eventually choose one with orangey glass that smelled like peach.

She had already poured it on her washcloth and was fully lathered when she remembered the rule about the Labyrinth and peaches.

"Crap!"

It was all over her. _"'nnneeeeeeh'…"_ She whined absurdly as she spastically washed off her body. And then cringed at the suds that floated away innocently.

"Sarah- exactly how long do you plan to stay in there? We have much to discuss."

The sound had made her freeze like being caught in a spotlight. It was Jareth's unhappy monotone coming from behind a curtain not six feet away from

her…very…naked…body.

"DON'TYOUDARECOMEINHERE!" Covering herself she crashed down into the water all the way up to her chin. She made a big wave and water crashed over the edge.

"Gracious Sarah, what do you take me for? I wouldn't do that."

"Why?"

"That sort of behavior is strictly forbidden."

"Claims the guy who makes the rules…"

"I _cannot,_ _will not_, lay eyes on flesh I have not wedded!" He stated as if it was an obvious taboo.

"Really?" Sarah questioned distrustfully.

"Yes really. Now I want you get out and get ready."

"Are we going to talk about my friends?"

"No, the wedding. Get out _now_. I do not like waiting…"

"What wedding?"

"Our wedding."

"We don't have a wedding."

"Oh we don't?" Jareth regarded in a snarky voice. The voice of a man past the 'let's play nice' stage. "We didn't before you were so rude to me. Now you don't have a choice."

"Like hell I don't. You sonova-"

"No you don't." He interrupted her. "You entered the Labyrinth of your own free will. You surrendered yourself here -never to leave again."

Okay. After she saved Hoggle she was going to kill him.

She didn't know what to say. She should've been using this time to think not doing laps or playing with soaps. _Stupid low attention span_. He really had her pinned. Was there a way back to her world? Hoggle and the others seemed to have found a way if she could get them alone she could ask them how they did it.

"And my friends…?"

"Forget your damned friends and get out of the bath!"

"Why?! So you can bend me to your dirty will? The way you described it I'm safe in here."

"Sarah…"

"You said you won't come in right??"

"Of course… but-"

"Ha ha! Then I'm right! When I'm in the buff you can't come near me. You said it yourself, it's _strictly forbiddennnn..." _She taunted in a falsetto nasally voice.

"Sarah, don't be silly." He really hoped she wasn't going to do this to him. He didn't trust himself around her. He touched the curtain, imagining what was on the other side.

"Uh uh your highness, don't peak! I'm highly indecent right now!"

"SARAH DAMNIT! I WILL NOT PLAY THIS GAME!"

"Then don't! _Easy, breezy, beautiful uncovered giiirl!_" She sang as she splashed the water around her. "The most comfortable suit I own is my birthday one!"

"Sarah, Damnit, I cannot _believe_ you can be this immature…"

"You say immature, I say brilliant. _You shall not passss bwawawa_!" She mocked in her deepest man voice.

"Idiot girl. I will not be made a fool of by my own gallantry! I am a king of noble blood. Do not make me go back on my vows, they are of deepest importance to me."

"Me too."

"Sarah, you will do as I say and get out of the tub and into some clothing."

"Of course, scribble off the whole marriage idea and I'll happily come out."

"No!" He exclaimed in an almost growl.

"Then no for me as well. This room shall remain unsuitable for ages under eighteen due to its graphic content."

She heard a swak and she knew he just smacked his forehead. "Ugh…"

Hey! She had officially found a good way to piss him off.

"That's it. You win. I will go against my vows as royalty to get you out of there. But you will pay for this later, you hear me? I will not forget this indignity. Nor will it be ever taken lightly. As your first punishment you will wed me tonight. I'm coming in."

There was a pause. And then the curtain came swinging back so aggressively it was partly ripped.

He stood there. The candlelight shone around his hair in almost a halo. His eyes widened at the sight of her.

She was…

She was…

He was speechless. He'd just given up his vows. One's he made centuries ago, before he'd even come to rule over the Labyrinth in a matter of minutes and-

She was…

Was…

dressed.

"Your goblins left me this little white nightgown before they left. It was rather thoughtful, really."

"Sarah."

"Mmmhmm?"

"I just broke part of an oath that granted me my leadership… and you…you…" He couldn't seem to say it.

"I…?"

"Wouldn't even let me see you naked?" He looked like he wanted to cry. "All those years…I was so faithful…"

And he was crying, at least on the inside.

"The world is cruel to you, Jareth." Sarah stated calmly.

He sank to the floor with a small whimper.

She would not get away with this.

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. Next Chapter: One, two royal pains

Sorry, just another chapter of pure nonsense. tee hee.


	9. One, two royal pains

A/N: ehn…you.. guyz…gosh…._ya guyz_…shucks. 3 Such… (_gosh)_…nice comments… Love you!

Disclaimer: It's a secret… shhhhh

**Chapter 9: One, two royal pains**

Uh huh, and yet he did not lie.

They were getting married NOW.

"Now wait…_ah_… I thought you wanted to talk about this?!" Sarah found herself being pulled so roughly that her feet only skid on the ground about half the time.

"No."

He said it so coldly, perhaps taunting with her nakedness was only funny to her? He was pulling her hand rather angrily.

"Where are we going?! -Ahh!" She exclaimed as he tugged her rather ferociously around a corner.

Some goblins in the hall scuttered about like pigeons avoiding being stepped on upon seeing their master. Sarah heard a couple of them snicker as they passed. She heard only snatches of what they were laughing about but she knew she definitely heard mock smacking sounds.

_Gawd they thought they we going to kiss? If only! They were friggin' getting married!_

"Jareth, no, stop. I can't marry you. I'm too young, I don't know you," She began listing off. "I don't even live in this world… and marriage is a very serious not meant to be done on a whim! You need to let me go!

"No, yes you can, no you're not, yes you do, now you do, I know that, and no I don't." He replied emotionlessly.

"Wow, good memory."

"Thank you."

"But Jaaaretth….you can't do this to me."

"Stop me."

Ugh! She was sure how to respond to that. "But… we _can't_ get married Jareth. Lemme go!!" She begged. Her eyes felt hot, it was all she could do to keep from crying. The real seriousness of the situation had finally dawned on her since her trip here.

She'd been through a lot today, but in an almost 'do what ya gotta' attitude instead of really thinking about it.

This magic user wasn't going to let her leave.

She was stuck here.

Forever.

_Aww gawd_ she was going to cry and she did then, her voice broke out in a sob.

"Would you plllease be quiet?! I'm trying to concentrate and I can't easily do it with your silly whimpering!"

"Concentrate on what? The caterers?!" She wailed. Her hand was really beginning to hurt, but he just wouldn't let her go.

"Our wedding, you silly git, now, be quiet."

"We can't do it Jareth, I know you don't think so, but we can't!" Heat suddenly burst over her. She felt almost lightheaded, like she did when she gave blood. She had never been good with that sort of thing and almost passed out each time.

"Too late."

"No, Jareth it's not. Let's talk this over like you had wanted to do before."

"No, Sarah, it's almost done. And I would be finished if you wouldn't keep distracting me from my spell!"

_His spell?_

"This isn't easy you know! It's taking almost every inch of my being to connect you to me!"

"What are you doing?!"

"Marrying you. We do it a little different here than in your world. I'm exhausted, but I'm almost done. I want to get to my room so I can lay down."

Not breaking his brisk pace, he turned and looked back at her. "You'll want to as well once I finish. Once it's done, it will all break into you in a wave."

Sweat was clearly pouring off his head and her hand felt as hot as ever. Taking a moment from trying to decipher what he just told her she looked down at it.

She came to the frightening realization as to why her hand hurt.

Some kind of magic was being transferred from his hand to hers. She saw her skin almost rippling. She knew that it was quickly spreading throughout her whole body.

Ohmigawd, this is a labyrinthine wedding! Some kind of exchange of power!

When he said they were getting married now, he meant it literally as in RIGHT NOW, AT THIS MOMENT WE ARE GETTING MARRIED.

Having reached their destination Jareth kicked out the doors causing them to shatter. They probably opened out not in.

He pulled her in his room and swung her around to face him, never once releasing her hand.

His other arm pulled her body in close to his and he touched his forehead with her own.

His face was red and sweating, he looked like he had just been in a fight, but when he opened his eyes to her she saw something victorious.

He gave he a little smile and shifted his weight to her by falling foreword. He was far too heavy for her and both of them went crashing onto the huge bed behind them.

He laid on top of her just smiling a happy little tired smile.

"Jareth….what are you…?"

"Done." He breathed before she could even finish her question.

And just as he predicted Sarah's body reacted she felt every muscle in her body just contracted. She was then blinded by the influx of power crashing in hot waves all over her body. She couldn't feel the bed, couldn't feel the goblin king on top of her… she felt like she was floating in fire, but wasn't getting burned.

And her world was spinning faster and faster, so fast that she couldn't breathe!

Egad! What exactly did he do to her??!!

She screamed then as the power came as a pain pulled her back to reality. It almost sucked her into the bed and then disappeared making her come back to the man on top of her.

She only heard him for a second before she passed out.

What she heard was…

"Mine…now, forever."

And then the world went black.

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She woke up much, much later, for who knows how long and there was still a goblin king on top of her.

Now that just wouldn't do.

Wasting no time or effort she pushed him off the bed and smiled after the thump.

He didn't wake up.

That was good enough for now so she fell back asleep.

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**A/n** love love love love ya folks! Yeah, shortest chapter yet. Sorry. It was important to the story though.

Chapter 10: Hair fit for a throne


	10. Hair fit for a throne

Disclaimer… mmm mmm delicious

a/n: ta ha. This is late, sorry. Ha ha no, I don't have an excuse, I'm just a lazy sonovabeyotcha-chan. Sorry sorry!

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**Chapter 10: Hair fit for a throne**

Sarah woke up in a jolt.

Sort of like a robot. Her body was off and then it was on.

Weird.

She felt the cushiony bed beneath her, It was extremely comfortable- some part of her mind registered that it might be made of down.

It was odd though, she wasn't completely on the bed. In fact her left leg was dangling on the side while she was lying sort of horizontally across it.

Slowly trying make her limbs work Sarah felt her foot brush something warm.

Groggily she sat up and blinked her eyes at her new husband who was still passed out on the floor.

_Sonovabitch. _

That woke her up. Her leg shot up as if his huddled form had burned her.

Sarah shuffled over the bed and slid off the side when she was far enough away from his royal crumpledness never once taking her eyes off him.

What should she do?

Should she kick him? Climb onto his chest and choke him?

Each sounded kind of good, but something told her that the time when he was asleep like this was precious.

She could use this time to escape.

Now where had the goblins put her things?

When she had settled into her bath the dirty little pile clothes she had made had disappeared as soon as she had turned away from it.

At the time she didn't think much of it, figuring that Jareth had ordered them to be washed or something.

But now she needed them. All she had on was a little white night gown. That was literally all, she was presently going commando.

_(It was breeeezy feelin')_

Sarah didn't even know where to begin to look. There was a wooden dresser on the other side of the room so she padded quietly over to it.

She supposed she could steal something of his as long as if wasn't covered in sequins or whatever.

After all, she had never seen anything remotely toned down for this man.

The handle made a tiny click and she made a quick glance to the sleeping king. She had to be careful not to make any noise she reminded herself, he might wake up at any given moment.

Which is why she shouldn't have screamed when she opened the cabinet door…

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Her hair was jet-poofed!

She turned from a Cher cut to a Farrah Faucet with static electricity.

There had been a mirror on the dresser's door. When she had opened it she hadn't known she had screamed until after she did it.

Holy moly. Her hair was BIG.

It was not bed head- it was…bedAMAKAZAM head!

_Poof. _

She was reaching her mental limit… she knew it.

This was just a topping to the 'aw shit' cake she was baking.

Suddenly very determined to leave she quickly shuffled through his drawers and pulled out a blousy white poet's shirt and a pair of black stretchy pants he seemed to have an abundance of.

Tighty whiteys be damned. She was wanted to get out of here NOW. So she pulled them on in record time.

She was glad he was such a skinny little thing, or else she might feel awkward in men's clothing.

Chucking the night gown in a corner next to the dresser Sarah walked over to Jareth almost combatively.

One would assume that he would wake up after she had screamed, but that apparently wasn't the case.

He was still slumped uncomfortably on the side of the bed.

Wait.

Frustration promoting courage, Sarah came up beside and carefully placed his left leg up-close to his head and then his other leg bent underneath itself.

There.

Now he was slumped uncomfortably.

Giving a proud nod to her handiwork and the king's limberness Sarah walked out of the door (which was magically fixed-she noticed) barefoot.

She'd have to deal with the issue of shoes later.

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A lot had happened in the last…well….two days now Sarah supposed and she realized that she had not eaten in either of them.

Before she left she had been preparing eggs to eat, and she never did. Ambrosious ate those, wherever that dog was…

It was odd.

She just was too focus on the task of finding her friends that she didn't really noticed that she was in fact… _starving_.

She had some apples and granola bars in her bag- wherever that was.

She wasn't sure if she should set out to find it or not. The bigger problem at hand was to find an exit for her and her friends. Oh, and to re-find her friends. Jareth hid them again after he brought them back here.

Jareth's castle was big.

The goblins came out and peeked at her as she walked by but disappeared as soon as she looked their way.

They were following her she realized.

She heard muffled giggles and gurgles; obviously her presence was very exciting to them.

Perhaps it was because she was a human and there weren't any around here.

Or it might be her hair. She knew that was exciting.

Whatever, she didn't really care.

"I don't suppose any of you will help me… I've bumped into enough peckers who would do anything to avoid the wrath of your king." Sarah spoke out coldly.

She knew they were listening, but when they didn't say anything Sarah spun aggressively around in sync with cabinets closing, pots being covered, curtains being pulled and wherever else the little critters managed to store themselves suddenly being closed.

"No need to hide. There's no point when I can hear you laughing. I'm not going to hurt you. I just…I just… ugh… I just need to get out of here."

Silence.

Well, she wouldn't be brought to tears next time she saw Jareth kicking one of them.

"A teensy bit of aid is highly welcome."

"Is that a wish?" One of them whispered to another. "Aie don't know, it didnit even start with 'I wish'." Another answered back. "She needs to say the _wooords_…" One called out above her.

She looked up any saw a hundred little holes in the wall above. She wondered how many of them were occupied by a little goblin.

"Does that mean you guys will help me?"

They didn't answer, but a new hope rose in her. _And he had given her certain powers_… she remembered.

The goblins might do as she says!

This was wonderful! For the first time ever she felt thankful to Jareth.

"In the form of a wish, eh? Well I wish tha-"

"_I wish_ that you would stop talking so loudly for I have a spitting headache and for some reason my entire body aches."

Jareth was awake. His presence caused a dreadful stir amongst all the goblins, and for once Sarah began to understand why.

"**You! **Goblins! Prepare breakfast, a change of clothes for your queen and a bath for me. And hell… find a little bell for this one, I want to know where she is next time she tries to run away from me."

Jareth grabbed her arm and tugged at her as he rubbed the back of his neck. "Move it!" He yelled, snapping his fingers and an immediate scrabble proceeded.

His hand returned to rubbing his neck and he looked at her.

"I was kidding about one of them, can you guess which one?" He asked her pleasantly.

"Err… the bell?"

"You _wish._"

Well at least he was smiling. That was a good thing right?

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A/n: I love you people! I'm so sorry if I don't get back to your comments, I'm not trying to be rude. I just sometimes forget who've I've already thanked X disgruntled face

Anyway thank you!!! I send you my mucho mucho love! You guys are awesome

Chapter 11: No harmony without harm


	11. No harmony without harm

Disclaimer: Jim Henson. There. I said it.

A/n you guys are the awesome. Yes, _the_ awesome.

**Chapter 11: No harmony without harm**

Holding her arm, he led her back to 'their' room- as he put it. It would take about pulling teeth to make her refer to it as that.

Sarah was rather irritated to notice that his room was only two halls from where he had found her.

She had gotten _sooo_ lost apparently.

But hey! At least she had gotten to explore this lovely, decrepit new prison of hers.

"In." He ordered, pushing her lightly in front of him. His hand brushed just a little too far down her back.

"Woah! No butt, idiot!"

"What?" He questioned softly after closing the door behind them.

"You, hand, and the butt…_No_!"

He didn't answer at first. His mouth formed a tight line and he gazed slantedly at her before attempting to respond. "No butt?" He inquired his eyebrow quirking.

"N_oooo butt_. None for you." She said absolutely with her hands placed defiantly on her waist.

Again he was silent for a moment.

"I can't have any of your butt?"

"No."

"But, I wasn't after your butt."

"Doesn't matter. You touched it."

Oh so that's how it was. Obviously she was forgetting their couple stasis. Oh well, he'd enjoy reminding her, he contemplated keenly.

"No I didn't," He walked up beside her and slapped her behind with all the might and grace of a king. "..now I did."

He chuckled as she stood there simply writhing in indignation and waltzed past her.

Flopping on the bed, he sighed as its comfort hit his aching back. Somehow he had fallen off it in the most awkward of positions last night. "I like the clothes by the way. I look good on you."

"Your clothes look good on me you mean." Sarah corrected, slowly turning around to glare at him. Her butt stung. _A lot._

"I know what I said."

He smiled sweetly at her with his head resting over his hands. He liked her eyes. He thought they were burning cutely.

"I am _so_ going to kill you."

He made a kiss sound with his lips.

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So she got clothes.

Oh and she got clothes.

Later in the evening she got some clothes.

There were over a hundred different dresses in large room next to Jareths.

It was her closet Jareth had informed her. Hell, who has a closet larger than their bedroom?

But she did… a week ago she would've been in heaven.

_A week ago she would've wanted to be here. Now she can't leave._

Occasionally her situation would come back to her and she would almost cry. That's why she tried not to think about it too much.

She couldn't believe the goblins had prepared all this for her. She had wanted to ask if they had made them all as well, but the words died on her lips as she thought of that.

The goblins were the most chaotic creatures (aside from the fieries) she had ever seen. Considering one of them making intricate stitches was an image that could induce a large amount of giggling.

They were beautiful anyway. Jareth probably just popped them here with his magic.

That idiot.

Sarah chose to leave his clothes on. Even though he thought it was sexy she was wearing them, it was probably better than dressing up like his…_bleech_…queen.

"Dinner milady…" An awkward goblin wobbled breathlessly. She nodded and wiped off the drool that had formed at the word.

The goblin shot of the room as fast as his little legs would take them.

In the back of her mind Sarah realized Jareth probably told him to do it quickly and the dumb thing took it literally.

She took one more glance around the room and selected a pair of slip-on shoes from a large rack of various different dancing shoes. A full length mirror was next to them and she accidentally caught herself in it.

She looked oddly wonderful, she realized studying herself a little closer. Her skin was an even tone, and her hair, although huge, looked styled. There were girls in her school who she knew would pay ridiculous amounts on it to have a similar do. It was odd, because she didn't even brush it. But the thing that emitted a gasp from her was her eyes.

They were sparkly.

Not like they had just been crying, but like…

Inhuman.

"Oh my gawd…""

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"Jareth, what's wrong with me?!" She burst into the dining room. The table was set up with an assortment of delicious looking dishes and her hunger crashed over in full throttle at their wonderful smell. But right now she had to know…

"Excellent question, one of which I cannot answer. Did you not find anything to appease you to wear?" He inquired looking her over.

"No, _Jareth._ I'm not the same. I'm different. First the hair and now my eyes are a teensy bit glowy. What's wrong with me??"

His eyes had widened for a minute and then he smiled.

"You are adorable."

"Jaaaretth." She warned.

"No, really you are. Simply charming. I'll happily explain, just sit down and eat."

"I mean, gawd Jareth, I don't even feel human." She realized, accepting his offer and sitting down across from him.

"No reason you should."

"What?" She grabbed a roll from a basket and took a bite out of it, staring at him intensely.

"I said no reason you should feel human."

"Huh?"

"Well, darling. That's what you should've realized. You're not, I changed you."

"WHAT??!!" The piece of bread fell out of her mouth.

"Darling…close your mouth." He chided and selected some roast chicken calmly. Taking a small piece and setting it on his plate.

"Jareth!"

"What?"

"I'm not human??!!"

"No." He smiled at her.

A half eaten roll came into contact with his head.

"What'd ya do to me??!" She screamed.

"Married you." He answered his smile getting a little tighter.

"What's up with my hair??!" She squealed.

Oh. Well. Guess she got over the human thing fast. She had already moved on to the next subject.

"Magic alters the body. That's as much as I can tell you."

"Is that what happened with your hair?"

"Well…yes."

"Well yours exploded. Mine only poofed." She remarked, eyes still wide.

"Yes, very good." He laughed. He knew he made a good choice. This girl wouldn't never be predictable. "Aren't you hungry?"

Sarah looked down at all the food. There was so much to absorb. So many things she still needed to know, but…there was steam floating off buttered potatoes and grilled asparagus. And there was cheese oozing out of what looked like was stuffed mushrooms and seasoning that sparkled on some roast chicken…

She caved.

"Okay. But back to the earlier deal. You talk. I eat."

"No. I eat too." He grimaced. "I mean, I _will_ eat as well…. I hate your stupid grammar. It's rubbing off on me."

"Jareth, I can honestly tell you no part of me is going to willing rub on you soon."

They held each other in a steady gaze.

For a _goood_ long time.

Jareth hung his head in defeat and set his fork down on his plate with a pathetic little clink.

"Okay. As I've told you it was a spell to connect two people… how the spells first works…"

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a/n

Thanks for waiting everyone. I know I take too long to get these suckers out. Sorry about that.


	12. Caged queen

A/n: Err... so how many of you hate me by now? Well gee… it's only a couple…losta…months since I last updated. No big thing. XD _(SORRY- PLEASE FORGIVE ME!!) _Anyway, what I know for sure is I love you people. Very much :)

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**Chapter 12: Caged queen**

"_Kill."_

"Love you too sweetie."

"I will. I'm going to kill you."

"Sarah, it's not that big of deal. I just want to make sure you don't go running off…" Jareth reasoned sweetly- looking at his wife with big eyes and a half smile.

She didn't smile back. Her eyes were staring up at him from under dark brows.

"I thought you were kidding about the bell." She growled through her teeth.

He tossed his eyes in a pleasant, thoughtful manner still with a tiny smile. "Not at all."

"It's… so…loud." She insisted venomously.

"It's not that loud."

Staring at him she lifted her finger and stuck it an inch out the window.

'_**BRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRROOOOOOOOOOONNNNCccK!!!!!'**_

The walls of the castle shook, hordes of goblins screamed and wailed… and the goblin king's hair wafted lightly under the sound's vibrations, but his smile never wavered.

He just waited patiently until she pulled her finger back. Immediately the sound cut.

He pursed his lips and then nodded. "Well, it's a little loud."

That was all he offered and then once again gifted her with a tiny smile.

"TAKE IT OFF THEN!"

Jareth wandered up to his wife thoughtfully. She was still wearing his clothes- they looked adorable on her, he had to admit- but it was evidence to her running off last night.

She didn't take the news he told her very…caaalm.ly.

In fact, she spazzed.

"But if I do that you'll run off screaming…like you did last night." He quirked in an awkward smile-pout.

"Oh I'm sorry… I'll make sure to do a quiet run off next time."

"Saarah…"

"Well, what the hell did you expect me to do when you told me you turned me into a _goblin??!"_

That's what he had informed her the night before at the dinner table. It had been an almost pleasant atmosphere (in comparison to almost every other time they had been within ten feet) until that little segment of information had reached her ears.

It was then that she ran off screaming.

She didn't even listen when he tried to explain that there were different kinds of goblins and that they were extremely high breed.

"I had imagined a few things, but I suppose it's still too early in the relationship for them." He admitted glumly.

"Yeah, well think again bub… that was a fairly basic reaction to most…wait-_what_?" She asked alarmed and then more quietly… _"…what other things?"_

He shrugged and waltzed over to the windowsill and leaned up against it. "Oh I don't know maybe you'd turn the table over and come charging at me or maybe you'd start ripping at your clothes-crying, saying this is not you…I don't know, something more interesting and less G-rated than running off."

At her lack of reaction he shrugged again. "For example."

Sarah stood there gaping at him.

She looked like she was really contemplating something.

"You know what '_G-rated'_ means. Does that mean you have movies here?" Then she immediately cringed and pushed her hand a few times in front of him. "Wait…wait… that's not what I wanted to say."

"You caught yourself that time." Jareth remarked.

"Yes I did."

He smiled at her and she looked away annoyed. "Anyway, I don't care about what you had wanted me to do then. Just take this stupid 'bell' off."

"No." He said absolutely -his tongue lingering out a little bit.

It was so like him. There was no way he was not enjoying this.

Sarah was suddenly very tired. Very, very tired of this trip. And very very tired of this man. She glared at him sideways and knew at least a little bit that this conversation was going to be more irritating than successful. He was looking right back at her smiling his sexy smile, probably enjoying her hesitation.

Fine.

This wasn't going to get anywhere.

She might as well as well go to bed since she sort of missed it last night.

She strode past him.

"Going to bed?" He guessed correctly. "May I…?" _**'BRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRROOOOOOOOOOONNNNCccK!!!!!'**_

"No." She said and pulled her hand back from the window.

When she was gone he cringed and rubbed his ears.

"So. Damn. Loveable." He whispered a little giddily...

...and painfully.

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A/n WOW, THAT WAS SHORT!

**Chapter 13: His royal Jealous-face**


	13. His royal jealous face

A/n: LONG AUTHORS NOTE. DO NOT READ IF IMPAIENT. BUT YOU'D ALREADY KNOW TO DO THAT WITHOUT ME TELLING YOU. BUT, REALLY YOU MIGHT AS WELL GO FOR IT BECAUSE YOU'VE ALREADY READ THIS FAR. Okie dokes. This chapter is extra long and quickly (comparatively!) out as an apology to everyone XD for making everyone wait so long for chapter 12 and for not getting back to many of you in your reviews. I'm sorry friends- just so you know I make a happy squeal every time I notice I have a new review even if its one that says "_you suck- learn English moron_" I still cry tears of happiness. Anyhoo, here's chapter 13. The chapter where stuff will actually start happening…

Disclaimer: Jimmy-boy Henson

**Chapter 13: His royal jealous-face**

So she was trapped in a big castle surrounded by an even bigger maze in a place that's not supposed to exist.

Well.

Could be worst.

At least her bed was _really_ comfy.

"_Squishy…"_ Sarah whispered. She was happy because she thought she at least got a few hours of sleep in.

She laid out on top of her blankets because it was too hot to sleep in her clothes.

Sadly she realized she couldn't take them off.

No bra…no underwear… the clothes had to stay.

She considered sorting through labyrinth jr (she named her new closet) and finding something to wear, but that would sort of be accepting something the butt head's given her.

'_L.J.'_ was an obvious attempt to shower her with gifts and she wanted to even more bluntly not accept them.

She would accept food though.

In fact, she would accept breakfast (lunch? Dinner? What time is it?) right now. But she wasn't gonna ask.

With a heavy sigh she knew it was about time to get lost in the castle again-Get some food (Why the heck do people have eat all the time?- it's annoying), find info on her friends, and avoid the king. Bingo.

It was unlikely Jareth stored the others in the castle itself.

She padded down a long dirty staircase, looking for them even if it was likely in vain.

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Dad must be furious.

Karen probably wants her watch back. _ha ha!! I lost it! I lost it!_

And she wouldn't blame them.

She did disappear abruptly- no note, no nothing…

Buutt-In the world of excuses _'I got turned into a goblin'_ is a pretty damn good one and she was gonna ride on it.

Who knows- they might believe her. She didn't know how, but for everyone else she could just say she was struck by lighting.

Ya'know….

…to explain her hair…

that was probably the most believable thing.

For now Sarah just kept going down staircase after staircase.

It wasn't going so well, it was taking her a whole lotta nowhere.

She was beginning to maybe see truth in what that old man said yesterday.

_Sometimes…the way forward is sometimes the way baaack…_

It was like…like she was going down, but arriving on the same floor everytime.

"Monkeys!" She growled and looked around.

Everything looked similar, same staircase going up, same staircase going down…a little window and two opposing corridors with thin maroon curtains hanging over them.

The curtains wafted slightly with the breeze coming from the window.

It was the same.

It had to be the same!

That or his interior design was super lazy! Making every floor the exact same…

She glanced at the stairs going down and cringed.

No more of that. She had probably taken it twenty times already.

But should she go up???

Would that do the same thing?

It was so confusing.

She decided rather to wander up to the left curtain and pull it back. What she received was a limestone wall.

"Wha?" She breathed and closed it again.

When it was closed she could see from a tiny gap that there was a hall there. When she opened it -it was wall again!

"No!"

Panic started to rise in her throat so she ran to the right curtain and pulled that back.

Same thing.

"Oh damnit." She closed that curtain again and pushed her fingers in the middle of it.

The cloth gave and there was clearly no wall underneath it.

Sarah grinned and started to move forward, just walking into the curtain and slowly making her way in the hidden hallway.

Going through the curtain it started to rise over her body as she went further in. When she held it over her head for a sec she saw it.

Herself-

She saw herself staring back at her- hidden ten feet away in the darkness.

Her heart caught in her throat and she stared the image before her.

Something glinted from the light she was releasing and it took her a moments pause before she burst out in giggles.

A mirror.

She was staring at a mirror.

She started to walk towards it and her image shot up and glared at her.

"Idiot! Don't let go of the curtain- you'll be trapped in here! Moron!" It growled.

Sarah screamed and ran out releasing the curtain.

She fell on her butt.

"Now see, if you had run forward- the wall would've closed behind you."

A voice sounded from behind the curtain.

"What?" Sarah gasped and jumped up to swing the curtain back.

Of course she got wall again.

"Idiot." A muffled, irritated voice said.

"This is so weird." Sarah stated with wonder and did the same thing she did before- walked through the curtain.

When she got to the end of it she held the curtain above her head- sort of tugging her weight on it.

Her image quirked an eyebrow at her.

"You have more brains than a goblin if you figured that out, but it doesn't seem to get any better than that, does it?"

It took a second for Sarah to register his insult, because it was taking her a little longer to absorb that she was talking to her reflection- with a sort of masculine sounding voice.

"You know, you with your man voice….using my face to talk with your man voice…"

"It's a little disarming… gotta admit."

"Really? I thought you looked weird, with such a masculine face with an extremely nasally girly voice."

Sarah blinked at him.

"Hey, will it give a person seven years bad luck to break a mirror here?" Sarah glanced around the room. It was dark, but the mirror seemed to be the only thing in here.

"I've never heard of something so silly…"

"That's a no?"

"Yes, why?"

"Keep being such an ass and you might find out."

"What?..ehh…" The thing finally got what she was getting at and responded with immediate fire." You ugly, disgusting human- lay one greasy finger on me and I'll-" It cut off, with its lip curled.

"What?" Sarah glanced disinterestedly at him.

He didn't answer, just snarled his(well, actually HER) lip at her.

"Ah…little dog syndrome, eh?" Sarah nodded.

"What?"

"You know,...how little dogs bark all the time… big dogs don't really have too…"She added conversationally.

"What?" It interrupted, she shrugged.

"-because it kind of goes without saying that they're tough- but _little_ dogs- they bark a lot to try to make up for being tough. But really, It just comes off annoying…"

"What are talking about?" The mirror growled irritably.

"You're a little dog, shiny."

The thing studied her.

"You aren't actually a human, are you?"

It was her turn to curl her lip.

"Shut up."

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Sarah should be about awake now, Jareth questioned to himself. He glanced at his clock. He allowed her to have an extra long nap to kind of cool her down. It's been a trying couple of days for her he knew and he should let her rest.

But damnnit.

He didn't like being ignored.

Expecially by his brand new wifey! Who also happens to be the love of his life!

He should march up there, pull her out of bed an lay a big juicy one on her.

He grinned at that thought.

She'd be ssooo mad.

He crinkled his nose. _(She's so cute!)_

But that mad probably wouldn't stop for a while. His grin kind of drupped.

Maybe he should let her rest.

But damnnit…

His eyes flared.

Not for much longer.

The goblins watched their master at a safe distance. He was making the oddest expressions ranging from giddy to grumpy- occasionally giggling or growling. He was like a one man show. He started laughing out loud and they cringed. That thought thought couldn't be good...

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a/n more coming soon- I actually got my writer's swoosh back :D tah dah!!


	14. ballsy

A/n: "_Hi yuck_!" Hello friends! That's it. Hello. New chapter. (_Blow kiss)_

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**Disclaimer: not mine (I'm tired)**

**Chapter 14: Ballsy**

"Sooo… I'm like trapped here, cause' he like put this spell-y thing on me, and so I can't leave."

"Oh you can leave." The mirror added a little too helpfully. "You can leave _anytime_ now."

Sarah didn't notice.

She just continued telling him/her/_it_ her inane second adventure through the labyrinth.

It was so nice too talk to someone who wasn't a particular flamboyant sadist..._whoshallnotbenamed_.

"Nah, no I can't. Even if I got past the godzilla castle alarm I still wouldn't know what to do once I got out there."

"Ah…. Drag… but, you could always…uh…_kill_ yourself?" The thing suggested with a 'glad to help' nod.

"Nah… too emo." Sarah said thoughtfully… then after a minute she smiled and clapped her hands. "Wait, Wait! I totally have a funny emo joke."

The thing glared at her. She really couldn't take hint. It scoffed.

"No, really… this is so funny. Okay?"

"No-"

"Okay." She took a breath and smiled. "_I wish my hair was EMO_**." **She looked for it's reaction. "…_because that way I could save money, because it would cut itself!"_

She burst out into giggles. But the eyes in the mirror got darker.

"Wasn't that funny? Ashley told me that."

The eyes broke out into slits.

"I have a joke."

"Ah really? Shoot."

"Go away."

"What?"

"Yes, that's my joke. _Go away_."

She looked at him.

"Okay wait, I have another one. You'll like this one."

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So, she confided her soul to this odd creature.

So much had happened this week, and she had no one that she could tell with 100 percent accuracy…(reason? It was crazy.)

buuuuut…. There was still something bothering her- aside from it's blatant hostility.

"Can't you do anything besides my face? I mean having a two-way conversation with my reflection is sci-fi enough without having that manly baritone coming from my lips. I'm like seriously weirded-out by this."

"Then _go_ away."

"No I really need your help."

"What is it? I promise I'll help you in any way I can as long as you leave me in peace."

Sarah frowned and looked rather tired all of a sudden. "I need to get away from here. I also need to save my friends somehow…" She glanced around the room. "I need a way to do both things."

"Fine. Do you know how to do magic?"

"No."

"Then you need to get a hand on one of his balls…"

Sarah stared at him.

Then she realized what he meant.

"Okay, that's gonna be a trick, I'll think of that later,

but once I get one what do I do with it?"

"I don't know- what does he do with them?"

"I don't know… he like juggles with them." Sarah swayed her hand back and forth sort of mimicking how Jareth did it.

He must've used magic, she wasn't sure her wrists even bent like that.

"Then juggle his _balls_!" it screamed impaitently.

"Mirror!" Sarah yelled. It came out like a croak because she choked the same time.

"What?"

"Don't say it like that!"

"What's wrong? I'm just saying great magic comes from those balls, and you would benefit from handling them."

Sarah glared at him painfully, trying her darnedest to shoo away any uncomfortable images. "What would I do once I got one of his…crystals?"

"Umm… what you up class goblins do. _Magic_." It gave her that '_duurr…obviously'_ look.

"How?"

"How should I know? Just do it."

Now it was Sarah's turn for her eyes to darken. At least it was a goal she might be able to achieve. But how would she get one?

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The stairs were a no go of course. Up or down brought her to the same spot. So with a sigh she called for assistance.

Well.

She poked her hand through the window.

The castle shook again and even her hair wafted a bit in the alarm's vibrations. With a little bit of satisfaction she decided that the sound wasn't as bad on her because she was the one making it.

For everything else in the castle it was probably not so.

Just barely she could make out a yell coming from behind the curtain on her right. She didn't know what it was saying, but it wasn't very nice.

A leather hand clamped down on her outstretched arm and pulled it back. "No." He whispered in a shudder. He looked like he just got out His face was pale and his eyes were a bit…_glossy_.

Sarah grinned. "Ah! Glad you're here! That bell is _loud_, Jareth! Don't'cha think it's loud? I think it's loud." She prodded faux-smiley and right in his ear. He was still shaking, he used his body to slightly push her away from the window.

"Loud, obnoxious bell, goes off at any given moment and it's loud…very loud." She clamped her hands on his cheeks and turned his head so he had to look her in the eyes for emphasis. Maybe he'd get it now now that she's tortured him with it a few times. "Don'tcha think you should take it off?"

She smiled.

He smiled.

He bonked her head with his own. "Or I should just get rid of all the windows."

With a small quirk of his lips the bricks around the window wobbled, moved out and closed it off.

Her lip curled up in a little whimper.

Jareth took advantage of the mere moment Sarah had looked at the was-window to shorten the already close distance with puckered lips.

Not even looking at him Sarah adverted certain kissy disaster with a quick act of 'talk to the hand'.

Jareth smiled behind it, quickly shaking off the cringe the bell had done and licked her palm.

When Sarah felt something wet cross her hand she screamed and thrashed out of his grip.

"No.no.no.no _Nnnn.._NO!" She rubbed her hand ferociously against her pants. "You.Just.Don't.Do.That!"

He just smirked. He definitely had the air of a victorious demon king. "Well, now if you don't like it…" he started pleasantly-

"Then don't get in _my_ way…" he ended unpleasantly.

She looked at her palm and then looked at him. She saw him grin.

Crap.

He looked hungry.

But not for food.

"Ha ha you in for it now, bitch." The mirror called out.

She glared in that general direction and Jareth quirked an eyebrow,

but yeah,

that was about right.

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a/n okay, okay I know the balls joke has been used by many.. but who cares? Now it's used by many plus one.

Next Chapter: Pleasing kingy-poo


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